You are allowed to dream

Being an adult is challenging. We don’t come with manuals, instructions, etc. We are raised by other humans who, like us, also didn’t receive a manual.

Recently, I had multiple sessions with clients who were trying to make a decision. Their states ranged from overwhelming to unclear to confused.

[Real Life Case]

My client, a senior engineer, was clear in his request: “I want clarity and direction, know where I want to be next in my career and the skills that are needed.”.

Being a computer scientist, I know exactly where he is coming from. It is supposed to be logical and straightforward: 0 or 1, having certainty that we have the correct answer. This logical way functions systematically with mathematics, but in life, it doesn’t. There are so many nuances, so many variables, so many unknowns. Welcome to the being human experience!

While digging, I understood what was beyond his initial request: “Unleash the leader in me.”

He has a remarkable international career, working as an expert, an individual contributor, a senior director, and a leader of teams in different industries and company sizes.

Yet, in a coaching session, we deal with what is present now. He’s been feeling stagnant for the past three years.

[The Truth]

Most of the time, we feel we do not have the answer; chances are, we are afraid of what comes next with clarity, so we prefer to stay in doubt as we don’t need to act or face the consequences that making a decision brings.

When I asked my client about his options, he gave me two. They were the next logical steps for him: becoming a leader in his team and, after that, a director.

We can notice here how linear we are as humans. We see what is in front of us based on our world experience.

It is a fact that he had a direction. We could explore what he needed to become a leader in his team. Yet, I knew he could go deeper.

[The Inflection Point]

I asked him to give me three more options. Even if he did not do it. The intention was to get his brain out of the dilemma. We are stuck in a win-or-lose deadlock when we have only two options.

He paused momentarily and said, “I don’t know, I never thought about it.”.

From silence, options came: he could continue as an individual contributor and have broader responsibilities, start his own company, and build a process on his own.

When he verbalized option 5, building a process on his own, time stopped. His face lighted up. I could see a mix of surprise and curiosity. Mesmerized, he said: “This is like a dream.”.

From experience, I know that now, it doesn’t matter what option he chooses. It will be a conscious choice and lead him to aligned success.

[The Solution]

Defining multiple options is key. It will help you think beyond the obvious, uncover possibilities, and clarify what you truly want and don’t want.

He continued in flow, seeing possibilities and dreaming. At the end of the session, he highlighted how eye-opening it was to see what he had never thought. He can dream big. He could even merge technology with his passion to contribute even more.

[Invitation]

If you need permission to dream - Permission is granted!

You can dream. It is safe, it is possible, and it is for you.

Dream big!