Stop overreacting, start managing up

What is important to you? What do you value most?

Whether you are aware of your values or not, they are guiding your life.

In a recent coaching session, a client was furious because people were always late for meetings at her company. She was even confused as she could not pinpoint why she was overreacting to such a trivial situation.

The impact beyond her initial frustration was the way she was showing up during meetings. She couldn’t overcome her frustration and was simply disconnecting, multitasking, and not adding any value.

Of course, it was not about the time; we dug to see what was behind it and linked it to her value of respect.

For her, if people respected her, they would show up on time and respect not only her but also her time. Fascinating our brains, no?

Even more fascinating was when she realized that she was the one not respecting others when she was multitasking during the meetings and not adding all the value that she could.

We reviewed her values list and its definitions. Last time we covered it was a year ago, and so much has changed since then.

Knowing what was behind, she could position herself and ask from an empowered place. Without emotions clouding her judgment, she could see clearly and be strategic in her positioning with her teammates.

She also opened the dialogue with her leader, the one who triggered her the most, and understood what was behind the delays. According to her, she felt so light after having this crucial conversation with him. Managing up is an art.

She is focusing on her executive presence, and this simple insight is already generating ripple effects on how people perceive her.

I usually joke with my clients that I doubt that ‘Person X’ woke up today and had the thought, “I am going to make ‘Person Y’s’ life miserable today. ”. We laugh and realize how much it’s all about us, how we position ourselves, and less about others.

Take your power back, start by defining what is important for you. Here are some value examples:

• Health
• Justice
• Growth
• Security
• Spirituality
• Recognition
• Freedom
• Stability
• Success
• Connection
• Contribution
• Excellence
• Discipline
• Power
• Creativity
• Compassion
• Respect
• Flexibility
• Honesty
• Variety

By listing the ones that are important to you, I invite you to refine and identify your top 5.

Then it is time to reflect. Are you living according to what matters most to you?

What may be a simple change that will allow you to be even more in alignment with your top values?

Enjoy!