The problem is never the problem

I know you are a smart person. I also know that you have a recurring topic that bothers you and that you have been trying to solve it for a while without success. We all do.

The point is that we often try to solve what is a symptom and not the real problem. We keep looking at the tip of the iceberg when there is much more beneath the water.

We believe that we actually know what is going on. We believe we understand what the issue is and what we must be doing to solve it.

We have all our hypotheses, and we keep telling stories to ourselves. All these histories hinder and distract us; they act as a shield so we do not access the real problem.

The hypothesis is usually the beginning of a possible solution; if it were everything, you would have already solved it.

Let’s face it. The problem is never the problem.

In a recent coaching session, the client mentioned time management as the issue. He wanted to manage his time better and maximize its use.

When I asked what his ideal scenario would be, he told me he wanted to work 8 hours per day, respect his lunchtime, and have time for himself after work.

Checking his actual situation, I learned he was working 8 hours per day, having lunch daily, and not working overtime.

Everything he wished he had was already there.

He would stay dissatisfied with this definition of problem and success, like on a hamster wheel without clarity.

A pivotal moment happened when I asked him: “What is really bothering you?”.

His real issue was the “surprises” he was getting from other people. He was calling “surprise” when someone sent him an instant message asking for something.

Exploring how often it happened, he said all the time, including after hours.

He knew it was going to happen, so It was clearly not a surprise, and yet, he was not anticipating it, and it was interrupting his flow and disrupting what he had planned for his day.

He was not even aware of his company policy on instant messages when we started exploring the subject together. His guess was a 24-hour response time. He knew for sure that the policy was not responding the second the message arrived as he was doing. He was even able to understand that this modus operandi was from a previous position where his work and company needs were totally different, and he simply continued doing what he always did.

He also realized that it could not be a surprise if he knew it would happen. He could proactively plan his day accordingly to accommodate these requests that were part of his job.

From this awareness, he will not try to work on his time management abilities; he will observe how he operates and adjust when needed.

Identifying challenges is the first step. Identifying your fundamental challenge is an art.

Knowing that we can only solve what we are aware of, I invite you to be curious and go deeper.

Ask yourself:

• What is really bothering me?

• Are the habits and responses I carry today still serving my current role and goals or are they leftovers from a past context?

Enjoy being the observer of yourself.

Happy awareness!