The Invisible Resistance Behind Our Goals

I often ask myself why some people are able to achieve what they want, while others aren’t.

Why do some things seem easier to accomplish, and others remain stuck for years?

During my year-end review, while scanning and recycling old notebooks, I noticed something that made me smile. A topic I discussed in therapy in January 2025 had shown up again in my own coaching session in November 2025, as if it had never been touched.

Then it got even better.

I found a note from 2020 about another topic that has been coming and going. I focus for a while, then I forget. I want it, and then I don’t.

I laughed and thought, one year is nothing. I’ve been circling this for five years.

It bothers me, but not enough to generate real change.

Or maybe I am peeling layers, and there are still more underneath. I’m not sure. If I knew, I probably would have figured it out by now.

Recently, I came across a concept called counter intentions.

We all want things. But often, we hold beliefs that quietly work against what we say we want.

Take someone who wants to eat healthier, in a balanced way.

If that person believes it is a waste of time because they will gain the weight back anyway, consistency becomes almost impossible.

If they also believe that at their age losing weight is harder, they can do everything “right” and still feel pulled in the opposite direction, like a magnet that is simply too strong.

The same dynamic shows up at work.

You may want a promotion, while believing that only people who play politics get ahead. You are not willing to play that game, and you believe only those close to leadership succeed.

Over time, reality will confirm that belief.

Other common counter intentions in professional life look like this:

• Wanting visibility, while believing it is safer to stay quiet.

• Wanting a career shift, while believing it is too late to start over.

• Wanting balance, while believing success requires constant overwork.

As usual, awareness is the first step.

Notice where your attention goes. Observe your thoughts. Reframe when needed. Keep focusing. Everything comes back to focus.

Once you recognize your counter intentions, it becomes much easier to choose your beliefs intentionally.

Enjoy the ride.