Closing Tabs

We are closing 2025, and the air feels mixed. There is excitement for the holidays, and at the same time, a loud exhaustion and sense of overwhelm.

As my director said last week, it is interesting how we try to fit three weeks of work into one, just so we can close the year strong.

I find myself in a movement of closing parentheses. Like my Chrome tabs, I realized how many tabs are still open in my personal and professional life.

Too many books. Too many projects. Too many tasks. Too many wishes. Too many decisions.

Many of them will never be completed. And yet, they stay open, consuming memory in my mind and pulling my attention away from what truly matters.

Last week my office at home became a mess. I laid out all my books. And yes, I do have many books. It felt like the right moment to organize them.

The surprise came when I found two copies of the same title. I love the author so much that when she released a new book, I bought it twice. Somewhere along the way, I had no memory of the first purchase.

I started the previous weekend knowing the space would remain visually chaotic all week, and that I would only continue the process the following weekend.

What I did not expect was how many emotions surfaced as I held each book in my hands.

Memories came alive. I traveled back to the moments when I read some of them, honoring the version of me who was there. I re-experienced breakthroughs that changed my life. I felt gratitude for what was. I remembered the day I bought more than ten books at an event and never read a single one. I noticed titles I owned but never prioritized. And I felt deep appreciation for a few authors whose work I truly love.

I also closed some cycles. I placed in the donation pile books I know I will never prioritize. With others, I respected my timing by adding a post-it to revisit the decision in a year.

I also created a new category. A scan-read pile. These are books I do not need to study or immerse myself in. I will read them at a high level, take what I am ready for, and donate them afterward.

For a few books I resisted letting go of, I set a different intention. This book will be exactly what someone else needs. That thought brought me peace. Yes, there are books I did not read, will not prioritize, and am now ready to release. They fulfilled their purpose. I am opening space for something new.

Throughout the week, sitting in a messy office, I noticed resistance and overwhelm. I wished it were already done. I questioned why I even started. I caught myself wishing for a magic wand to fix it all.

Instead of escaping, I stayed with the thoughts and feelings. It became an experiment in a safe space. No real risk. A controlled environment. No impact on others, except for my husband, who certainly noticed the emotional ups and downs of the week.

And it was worth it. I now have a plan. I know the next steps. And I am grateful I did not rush to a solution just to make the discomfort disappear.

From spending the week in a messy office, I noticed:

• How outside chaos mirrors inner chaos
• How quickly the desire for an external savior or solution appears
• How automatic it is to reach for food as a coping mechanism
• How the lack of clear planning can lead to distraction and analysis paralysis
• How nothing beats allowing one day to follow another
• How everything is temporary, including emotions, when we stay present
• How staying a little longer brings clarity and the logical next step
• How it is possible to feel peaceful inside even when the outside is chaotic

For me, a day without insight feels like a lost day. And like miracles, insights are available everywhere, in every situation.

I invite you to pause and organize something in your life. It does not need to be big. It can be physical or digital.

Clothes. Books. Digital files. Photos. Emails. Your desktop. Your desk. Your downloads folder. Your phone apps. Your notes. Your calendar. Your to-do list. Your open browser tabs.

Allow yourself to go through the process. Notice the feelings that emerge. Stay with them as much as you can. Let the insights come.

Awareness alone is already half of the transformation. With intention, you will free up space for something new and meaningful in 2026.

What is one tab you are ready to close before the year ends?

Enjoy the process.